October 25, 2007
Not giving in to fear
In college at dear old Covenant I minored in art. Well, as closely as was possible. At that time it wasn't too much of a program to begin with and b/c Art History II & one of the classes for my major were at the same time I couldn't even finish the minor (and you're not allowed to take classes while student teaching). Anyway. For the last eight years I haven't done anything except the occasional sketch and never allowed myself to do even a complete composition. I lack confidence and want to either do things perfectly or not at all. It's tugged at me over the years but I've allowed myself to be paralyzed by fear. "I'm not as good as. . . I'll never be as good as. . ." And it's a shame cause I have some pretty kickin' talented artist friends and could've been learning so much in the past almost decade. Over the past few months I've gotten some words from some gals at church and been challenged to make myself vulnerable in this and do. In my heart I dream of being an Artist. You know, someone who does stuff and sells it? "What do you do?" "I'm an artist." But who isn't sick of those punk kids on the street corner who give themselves license to put anything out there, place a big price tag on it and call it "art"? Anyway. Our church has a "vine arts" exhibit every few months and I thought I should take the small step of entering a painting in it. But I talked myself out of it until Andy just quietly brought home an entry packet for me. So thanks to my dear husband I took that small step of faith. Little steps, little steps. Sunday our sermon was about those servants who were faithful with a little and given more and the servant who buried what he was given and had even that taken away. At one point our pastor said that when we take a step of faithfulness with our gifts God gives us more and asks us to step further out in faith, in that way stretching us further and further each time we're faithful. The timing of the sermon was neat for me. So Sunday I heard that, Monday I finished up my painting I've been working on and Tuesday I submitted it to the exhibit. Wednesday I got an email from the manager of the book store at the church. He wants to buy the painting to hang in the church book store! I have friends who are pretty good at promoting their work and getting it out there but I didn't have the confidence to do work, much less promote it. So God threw me a bone. I submitted the work and He acknowledged my desire to do work by having someone actually seek me out and ask for the work! Of course friends and family tell you you've got talent but having someone you've never met want your work is nice. I met with some professional artists and got some feedback and input on pricing which was really good. I talked w/the guy and once the exhibit's over in January I'll sell my first painting! It's great to be confirmed. I'm pumped.
I ended up calling it "Be Transformed". Here's a pretty bad picture of the final product. But, hey, it's hard to take a good picture while holding a toddler in one arm and balancing on one leg while fending off the dog w/the other..
A few details.
Since I finished on Monday my boys have been asking me to paint. Gid requested a robin even before I finished the first painting so here's the an initial sketch for my next one. It's a little over a foot tall.