March 01, 2007
Strep Fallout
Sometime a little before Christmas the whole Perkins tribe got sick. There have only been a few days since then that we've at least passed as well. I just got home from the doctor to have confirmed my fourth case of strep throat in two and a half months. Also confirmed Phin's fourth (fifth maybe? I've lost count) ear infection in the same time. He's going to an ear, nose and throat specialist to see about tubes. This is better in my book than months at a time spent on antibiotics that studies show only help half the time anyway. After fourteen days on antibiotics they're going to swab my throat again to see how it's faring then look into possibly removing my tonsils. Please pray for a clear, speedy end to these issues, that they won't interfere w/Andy's nearing PhD defense.
And pray for providence. I'm exhausted. I'm discouraged and without a large network of support out here thousands of miles from my friends and family. It's hard enough to keep up with the three boys, but for Phin to be in pain a lot, for me to be in pain and void of energy and for Andy to finish what's needed on his dissertation seem, well, just impossible at this point. But God is a God of impossibilities and this is an awfully small feat for Him. I know this and I simply need God's gift of faith that He'll continue to provide. I need to be willing to ask not-so close people for help, humble myself and rest. I feel the weight of the responsibility to keep the house from falling apart and the kids dressed, fed and non-tv addicts. Mostly I feel the need of keeping extra burdens off Andy in the final stages of his PhD. Not having a network to help keep the kids, maybe cook and help with cleaning makes me just go on. I mean, it's not like I can choose to simply not get up and feed the kids. But I've come to the realization that pretending I'm not sick doesn't actually give me more energy or wellness. So where does that leave me? At the bottom asking for that supernatural faith. Faith in my Father that I can stop. I can stop and He will provide. I'm done treading water. You make me float. God is enough and Lord knows there are much, much harder things in life that could be going on.
A medical type entry on my part wouldn't be complete with some sort of gross picture to accompany it.
Lynn, you have my sympathies and prayers. We've been there over and over again: endless ear infections, busy husband, messy house, sleep deprivation, and what feels like total isolation. At times like this only a few things comfort me: 1) I know without a doubt that God loves me, and 2) I think about what it would be like without tube surgeries and other things that kept my son alive. 100 years ago, Dana would have been an infant fatality, unless God intervened. I suppose that doesn't help to make the situation any better, but it helped me feel better.
Oh, and one more comfort, one that I cling to... "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they shall see God." His strength is shown so perfectly in our weakness. I hope this doesn't sound preachy, but this is exactly what I've been going through and all of a sudden all of this stuff about living like a daughter and not like an orphan is starting to sink in.
And by the way, I've wanted to say this to you for awhile. You are an awesome mom. Being around you, reading your blog, catching your comments on mine, inspires me to dig a little deeper and enjoy my kids a little more. God has really used you to show me some of the beauty of being a mom. Thanks.
Posted by: Lynn at March 1, 2007 08:43 PMI'm assuming you meant to sign that Karen M, not Lynn. But it gave me such a good, hard laugh to think about writing myself all that glowing encouragement. I mean I honestly laughed until I cried. I needed that. And thank you so much for that comfort.
Posted by: lynnp at March 1, 2007 10:45 PMOk you've made me feel like the biggest wuss ever reading that you've had strep friggin' 4X!! What! Where is my gumption I tell ya? This winter has been a real wake up call for me too. Being able to let things go and trust. Believing that one morning I'll wake up and NOT feel like crap. My prayers were just groans. I had a mantra of "thanks mom, thanks mom" over and over. swallowing my pride and calling in sick to my first...day...of..work. I mean, my pride was hurt more than any physical pain. I feel you and I am praying that you can rise above the junk and hold onto the strength the Holy Spirit has for you. God is bigger and he heals, he provides, he loves you so so much. And He is good, really good. He has given you a beautiful place to live, a great church group, and a wonderful family (in ID GA/TN), and you have an awesome gift of deflecting the negative and having a very joyful spirit. You might feel flat, but you never act deflated. You are not a martyr, your inspiring. I can imagine you dog sick and still smiling at your boys, thankful that they are so cute and entertaining. I am very encouraged by your endurance and ability to roll with the most difficult things. Blessings my friend.
Posted by: katiek at March 2, 2007 12:20 AMI too am praying for you and your wee ones. I love you and I'm very proud of you. We'll rejoice and praise Him together as we continue to see His provision and how He's already using you and your illness ~ even as the responses to this blog demonstrate. Let's pray about how He may want to use me to serve Him by serving you at this time.
Posted by: Mom at March 2, 2007 07:41 AMIf you ever want to throw Gid onto a plane or pack him in a large box, we'd be happy to watch him for a while :) I wish we were closer, especially at times like this. I'm glad you shared these things Lynn. You will be in my thoughts.
Posted by: Amy at March 2, 2007 04:26 PMHow in the heck did I end up posting as you Lynn?!! This is beyond me, but I agree... very funny. ;)
Posted by: Karen Monahan at March 4, 2007 09:13 PM